Prologue

CAN WE BE EUROPE IF WE ARE ALREADY AMERICA
Hollywood in Our Neighborhood

Young Sonja from Zvezdara sent us an e-mail recently. We are not normal, she says, we are not on Facebook! But generally we are great, only sometimes we sugar coat too much. That is why she prepared a true Belgrade cocktail, bitter-sweet and sad and funny, which shows that we cannot be Europe, because we are already America. Here it goes:

Although the prices of funerary services went up, the citizens of Belgrade have not stopped dying. It is the evidence that the citizens support the politics of the city authorities.
Citizens of Belgrade are very careful when they cross a street. First they look to the left, then to the right and, if they do not see a policeman, they run to the other side!
Football failed, wheat failed, meetings failed. Only assassinations succeed like before.
In Belgrade there is tobacco mafia, urbanistic mafia, drug mafia, sports mafia, entertainment mafia, auto mafia, publishing mafia... Therefore, do not worry about the future of your children, the capital city will not leave them without a possibility to choose.
Belgrade police know who the killers are, but respect their wish to remain anonymous!
Clashes between criminal, which could have been seen in Belgrade only, can now also be seen in Niš, Novi Sad, Kragujevac.... Due to great interest, smaller towns will not be left out either.
Come to Belgrade Exchange. Currently there is great spring sales with discounted prices of companies.
Belgrade promenades will soon be monitored by cameras. An honest man will soon have no place to take his lover out.
You have lived in Belgrade for ten years and have not set on fire even one container?! You really do not adjust well in the new surroundings!
If you got lost in Belgrade, do not despair. You are in Belgrade.
As soon as your son becomes an adult, buy him a gun. Don’t let your child be embarrassed among his peers!
I live in Belgrade. It is a matter of days when I will pay for that privilege with my head.

Dangerous little Sonja, ha? The text might not be hers, maybe she exaggerates a little, but she knows where to aim her blows. Do you?